Managing Teams Through Anger, Heartbreak, and Fear
I am a Los Angeles County resident, a Latina, and a first-generation American—this was a hard weekend for me and mine. If you are anything like me, you spent quite a bit of time this weekend on your phone, sharing relevant information with friends and family, and/or out at protests. The federal overreach attempting to scare Los Angeles into submission has many of us asking questions — "Is anyone I love in danger?" "How much worse can this get?" "What should I be doing?" "What should I be saying?"
This weekend did feel like we moved into a new stage of authoritarianism — it was generally a scary escalation and even heavier when you are in charge of leading people in any way. Here are three things I think you should know:
1. Our information ecosystems are fractured. If your news comes from CNN or the NYTimes you see different things than if you get your news from ProPublica, Cal Matters or Truthout, which is different than live coverage on social media which is tailored to your specific interest or what ramps up your anger, which is different than being there in person; as a result, it is likely that your team members are having very different experiences of this weekend.
2. No matter the experience, folks are thinking about all of this and what it could mean. For example, is it your responsibility to put your body between federal officers and vulnerable people? What happens if the people being targeted expands? What does it mean that US Marines are being sent to Los Angeles? How much danger am I willing to put myself in?
3. Grief with no place to go will get routed to the places where people feel they have the most control. For example, folks who are sucking it up to be in the office can project their fear, anxiety, and grief internally towards their organization to where they feel more safe rather than externally, where they may feel less safe. Folks without an appropriate place to channel their grief may spontaneously emote and then blame the organization for the emotions. Frustration can get multiplied 10 fold because it is what people can control.
These three elements can make the work of managing a team or leading a community really tricky right now. That makes it no less important for us to fully engage with them. It is our responsibility as leaders to make meaning for the people around us. It's not just that the information ecosystem is broken — it's that we can play a role in shaping it for the people around us. It's not just that people are thinking about this—it's that they are impacted by it, and whether they are fully present to that impact can rest in our hands. We can become channelers of grief, supporting people in being less reactive and more intentional about their actions. So then the question becomes —how do we do that?
The first step always has to be internal.
Check in with yourself about what you are feeling. How are those feelings impacting your fears, hopes, and actions? It is important to ask yourself what you believe about this moment. Given the purpose of your institution — what are your responsibilities right now?
The second step is to think about your team.
Is anyone on your team directly impacted by these actions—whether by the direct actions of ICE or the actions of the federal government in their city? What internal benefits can be helpful to those people? Do you have an EAP? Insurance that covers mental health services? For those not directly impacted— do they share a cultural identity that impacts them? Are folks generally sad? On edge? Angry?
The third step is to think through the appropriate spaces to help folks process.
Do you want to send an email to help folks process on their own before processing in a group? Do you want to host a grieving space that you can open and close to help people process their feelings? Do you want to create a set of commitments together about how you want to be together in the middle of this tumultuous state our country is in? How do you help folks also process the parts of community actions that make them proud?
There is no guidebook for running healthy groups in the middle of an authoritarian takeover. That doesn't mean we can't create one. If you are particularly proud of something your team did, let us know by replying to this email! We'll share it. If you have questions, let us know, we’ll answer them.
In the middle of instability, people are better served being warriors for their beliefs than victims. They are better served knowing what power they do have instead of focusing on the power they don't. We are completely capable of creating the conditions for our people to show up powerfully for ourselves and one another and take the needed actions. It always strikes me as heartbreaking when people in grief say they don't want to cry because they fear they will never stop. Because the thing is —they will. That is the natural state of the body - human or organizational: to release and gain clarity. Don't be afraid that you won't be able to "control" this if you open up space for people to express themselves. We already don't have control over much of it. Don't give up the power we have with each other. We deserve to be brave for each other. Be brave.
